Day Five: AdSense or NONSENSE!!! Part I

Hey everyone. As you can definitely tell by my snappy title, I am really starting to learn the ropes of this whole advertising/marketing scene. I was pleased this morning when I found an e-mail in my Inbox that told me that GOOGLE would now be advertising on my website and i would be making MONEY every time somebody clicked on the ads! Naturally, I went to this website and clicked on the ads a couple of times so I could go to my account and watch how much money I just made! Immediately after, I read this startling statement in my welcoming e-mail:

Oh no! Had I immediately fucked this up? I decided I needed to take the crash course in Google's AdSense program and FAST. The general idea behind the Quick Tour of the program I took was that Google ads aren't annoying like other advertisements are because everyone would rather read words and text than looks at pictures of breats and celebrities. Then on page 5 of Google Ads 101, something struck me as more than slightly odd.

Is this some I, Robot shit? Google can apparently understand the true meaning of a webpage? Does it really just go get in there and feel it's essence and aura? Is this why Google is so successful? How the fuck do they do that? It can't just be by looking at words and what words are used together. No. As a rule, I do not trust technology that "keeps getting smarter." But, if you wanna make the big bucks, you gotta make some sacrifices. There was also one other thing that struck me as kind of odd during my training period.

What an interesting choice of words! Don't you HATE death/chaos/war ads getting in the way of your internet browsing experience? It's a good thing that the wall of google keeps this tidal wave of terror out of our lives! In Google's newer, smarter world I guess death and chaos and war just don't exist. Just a bunch of fucking hippies eating ice cream. Sounds pretty sweet to me.

coming soon... google search and tax forms!